Mom is Gone Survival Guide

Manina and Ellie are out being world travelers. Again. Last year in September they went to San Diego and then Alaska. This time they went to Disneyland and had a fun trip.

But while Mom and Ellie are out having a great time together, the rest of us in the family don’t exactly wallow in our misery waiting for their return. Sure, we miss them and we all recognize that our family is incomplete while they are gone. But, we do fun things and try to make memories of our own.

There have been trips away where things don’t go very well without Manina around to run the home. But, the kids and I worked together pretty well this time and it was pretty smooth. So, here are a few tips to remember for the next time that Mom leaves us to our own devices:

First, clear the entire schedule

I told Manina to drop everything possible when she left. No piano. No soccer games. No soccer referee assignments. Send RSVP regrets for birthday parties. Cancel everything that isn’t absolutely mission critical.

It was awesome.

It worked well because it gave us the time to do the other following steps in the survival guide. There is a reason I listed it as the first and most important item.

Second, don’t fret too much about the house

It is highly critical to make sure the house is clean and tidy when Mom returns. But, other than that last hour prior to her arrival, don’t worry about cleaning too much.

In reality, our kids are pretty good at doing their chores and being responsible. Our house remains fairly clean. Sure, backpacks and shoes might be left on the kitchen table. Drawers are sometimes left open. This isn’t a big deal. It’s not worth the energy to make sure the house remains as clean as when Mom is home. It isn’t a realistic expectation, so just let it go. It never gets too bad.

Third, dine out for dinner each night

I typically get home from work around 6pm. I’m hungry. The kids are hungry. The only real option is to go out to eat. Cooking makes too much of a mess (which is going to take even more energy to clean up), and I simply don’t have time to prepare and cook a meal.

One night, I had an appointment to fix my phone at the Apple Store in downtown Salt Lake City. I took all the kids with me and we went to Pizza Studio and had a contest on who could build the most delicious pizza. It was fun, and very easy to clean up, and it filled up our entire evening. (If you’re wondering, Megan lost. She ordered a pizza with unlimited toppings, but then only put on garlic, regular sauce, and cheese. I suspect she just didn’t want to answer the clerk’s questions about what other toppings to add. It was gross, but we all got a good laugh from it.)

Make sure the vacation budget includes the dining out costs for the poor souls stuck at home. It makes life much easier on the stay-at-home parent and also makes it easier to avoid spending too much time and energy cleaning up the house.

Forth, go outside and do fun things

In Utah we live very close to the mountains, so hikes and picnics are easy to pull off. But, for whatever reason, when Mom is around there is usually too much going on (see my first point) to do these things as a family.

One night we hiked around Silver Lake with some of my family.

Another night later in the week I told the kids that I was going to come home early from work and take them on a picnic into the mountains. I told them they had to have their homework and chores done and we could go up and sit around the fire all evening long. It worked out great. On my lunch break I picked up a few simple supplies and right when I got home we all drove up the canyon and found a picnic spot.

We ate hot dogs, roasted marshmallows, threw rocks in the river, lounged in my hammock and just wasted the night away. It was a lot of fun.

The great thing about this night was that was really a conglomerate of all of the survival guide steps.

I miss Manina when she is gone. Our home and family dynamic isn’t the same without her (and I don’t just mean the cleanliness either). It is very difficult being a single parent (even for just a couple days). I have all the admiration and respect to those who have to do it on a more permanent basis. These steps certainly made things go a lot smoother this time, but I was sure happy to have her home again.