2009 Utah Tour de Donut

My first organized ride after getting my road bike last year was the inaugural Utah Tour de Donut event here in American Fork. Back then, I was a cycling newbie, but now I’m much more experienced. Looking back at my 2008 Tour de Donut results, I was a little disappointed. I had to improve significantly for the 2009 ride.

The Tour de Donut is a fun ride. You do a 7 mile lap, eat donuts, do another 7 mile lap, eat donuts, and then a final 7 mile lap. You get a 3 minute time bonus for every donut eaten, but you’re disqualified if you puke. It’s a lot of fun.

So, I set a few goals for the 2009 Utah Tour de Donut. My main goal was to finish in the top 10 in my division. To do that, I set a goal to eat 10 donuts. I also wanted to ride each loop at about 20 mph.

My ride got off to a rocky start. Before the race began, my dad dropped my bike and knocked off the chain. Then the announcer called everyone together for instructions, gave them, and then announced the ride would be starting in 10…9…8… There was a mad scramble to get bikes ready and close to the front, but I wasn’t up there. I didn’t even get my gloves and helmet on until 1 mile into the ride, and by then I was stuck behind a lot of slower riders.

I finally got near the front near the end of my first lap. It was then that my preparation and planning gave me a real advantage. You see, one of the major problems last year was the sticky finger problem that the donuts give. It slows down eating (you don’t want to get your hands dirty), and then makes things uncomfortable when riding. To combat this problem I came up with an ingenious solution — I purchased some latex gloves and kept two pair in my jersey pocket. I rode no-handed on the last half mile into the donut station and put on the latex gloves.

When I got to the donut station I was ready to go. I squished 2 donuts together and started eating them. I had recruited Megan and Katelyn to be my domestiques (cycling lingo for worker bees) to hold my bike while I dismounted and ate donuts, and to get me a water bottle to help slam them down. They both did their jobs perfectly, and I ate 4 donuts pretty quickly and took off on my second lap.

My second lap was uneventful and boring. I didn’t even have anyone to ride with. When I pulled into the donut eating station again, my plan was to eat six total dounts, which I would do by squishing three together, eat, and repeat. About halfway through my first set of three, I knew I was in trouble. I started getting light-headed, I was having a real hard time keeping the donuts down. I ate slowly and lost a lot of time.

When I got back on my bike for the third lap, I wondered if I could make it. My stomach felt like it was full of a big heavy rock and it complained for the first mile or two. I was going at a pretty good pace, but then ran into a headwind, I tried to drop down on my handlebars to get out of the wind a little bit, but my stomach quickly reminded me that it was full of 7 donuts and that getting in the drops wasn’t an option on this ride.

I was still making good progress when I heard a train. I knew the tracks were a few miles ahead, and hoped the train wouldn’t be on those tracks. No such luck. I had to slow up and wait for the train to clear for several minutes before I could get back on the road. This allowed me to catch a few cyclists, but it also allowed lots of people to catch me. It was unfortunate timing.

When I crossed the finish line, I was glad to be done. As I cooled down, the queasiness came back, but only for a short time. I had survived.

I placed 9th in my division (goal accomplished!) finishing with an adjusted time of 52:12. A much improved performance over last year.