All Hands on Deck

I defy any one person to keep track of Claire for more than an hour. It’s an impossibility.

Claire is the very embodiment of a free spirit. Now that she’s more mobile, Claire loves to explore the world around her — and is not the least bit deterred when no one else joins her. She can open doors now, so she opens them and just goes.

She leaves without the slightest hesitation.

The warmer weather exacerbates the problem. She notices more people out and about and she’s anxious to join them, even if she doesn’t know them. She’s not even going anywhere in particular, she’s just off by herself doing her own thing.

Claire is not the least bit shy; she will strike up a conversation with whomever happens to be around. Our neighbors told us (to our dismay) that Claire has gone into their house (uninvited), gone to their pantry and helped herself to a treat. They asked her what she was doing and she held up her bounty and said, “snacks,” and then just walked out of their house like she owned the place.

At Jacob’s baseball game, Claire nearly started a brawl because she kept “stealing” another two-year-old’s mom. Whenever the little girl would leave her mom, Claire would go up to the mom, say hi, beg for treats, and even sit on the mom’s lap. I’d never seen this woman before, and neither had Claire, but that didn’t stop her. The little two-year-old didn’t like Claire starting in on her turf and eating her fruit snacks, and we soon had a battle royale going on — and Claire was right in the middle of it. I let it happen because it was better than her wandering out onto the infield in the middle of the game (which happens often).

We’ve talked about a leash, an electric fence, a shock collar, and various other methods of keeping Claire to stay close, but none are very humane. We’ve resigned ourselves to enlisting our entire neighborhood to help watch out for Claire. So all hands on deck — this is a team effort. If you see Claire out wandering, please let us know.

You’ve got to be kidding!

So I bought a couple boxes of candy to give to a few of my neighbors for helping us in our yard the other day. I wrote a cute little note and tied a bow around them and distributed them accordingly. Later that afternoon Seth came up to me and asked me where all the boxes of candy went. I told him I had given them to a few of the people in our neighborhood that helped us. He said “Did you give them the milk duds?” I said, “Yes.” He then proceeded to tell me how he had been snitching the milk duds from the box and had closed it nicely so the box appeared untampered. I, of course, didn’t notice and apparently gave my neighbor a half-eaten box of milk duds with a bow on it. Oh my goodness! I am absolutely mortified. Needless to say I went running over to her house with a new box but she wasn’t home. I can only imagine what she must have been thinking when she opened it. Seth claims he had no idea that they were gifts (even though they were in a tied grocery bag on the counter). He got a good chuckle about the whole incident. I am so not looking forward to explaining the whole thing tomorrow. Uggggghhhhhh…

All-time Stupid

I’m not talking just a little stupid here. Not even close to just plain stupid. Nowhere near worst-FHE-activity-ever stupid. Not even major stupid. This was all-time stupid.

Before I begin my tale, let me explain my use of the ‘we’ pronoun. I will use the royal ‘we’ mainly to avoid any additional marital discord. So, even though (for example) it may not have been my idea to purchase a trampoline in the first place, for my marriage’s sake I will write, “We decided to buy a trampoline.” Got it?

So, back to all-time stupid… Continue reading All-time Stupid